Au revoir, 2018 🌸

My blog has been lying collecting dust since my last post which made me had the need to make a post ; so here is my mandatory “au revoir, 2018” update 🌸

I remember telling myself back when 2018 began, that I would make it my best year. This was in relation with the fact that i was gonna appear for NEET in May, 2018 (and seriously people, getting through NEET was the only thing I wanted since ages back) and truthfully speaking, getting through it alone was enough to make this year one of the best yet but what made it truly the best were the many people and experiences whom I was blessed with this year.

Also the constants in my life, my parents, my sister, my family who as always were by my side in each moment, whether good or bad. Blessed is too vague of a word to express what I feel to be born in a family who believes in me more than I believe in myself, which is what an individual needs most to grow – unconditional support and overflowing love. i love you very much peepsies ❤️

2018 wouldn’t be 2018 without them so here is my heartfelt thank you, to the three beautiful women and also to the wonderful people who has been my backbone since college started. Education is important, college is what it is but the presence of amazing people who makes you laugh till your cheekbones hurt, listen to your rants and whims, shows you the assurance of their love and support every single minute ; making happiness ripples surround me and the light spring in my steps while walking down the halls. That, darling, is what life offers you when you meet the right people ❤️ so thank you, my precious ones 🌎🌈

Looking back now, the first few months of this year, I can hardly recount what I did those days besides studying and yeah I think, that’s pretty much everything I did till may 🤔😂. But it’s truly worth it, I believe hard work never goes in vain. Its the realest thing in existence. It never betrays you, it always always gives you back what you deserve.

Also, the main reason why I try to write so MUCH about positivity (well I write plenty on it but publishing it is one thing, so😊) is because I am everything but positive 😂🤣. It’s kinda hypocritical of me to preach positivity when I’m always leaning on pessimisn at the break of any news but maybe that’s why, I read and write more about the goodness of life and the values of positivity we should carry with us. To write and speak about it enough so that those beliefs actually gets ingrained in me and becomes more than just mere words I spell out.

2018 has been a game changer for me in this aspect. And I have ascended the peak of positivity (lemme bask in the joy of this for 5 secs please) because one of my friends said I spread positivtiy (not exactly these words but something along the lines of it so anyways 😂😭). What I realised a while back is that you gain so much goodness from surrounding yourself with bright, pure, virtuous parts of life ; you reflect what you surround yourself with- i never really believed in this but the more you expose yourself to beautiful spirits, enriching books, motivating movies (though i don’t really watch that much movies but 😭) it really transforms your mindset and ways of life, it’s never really about the huge big changes.

It’s nearly impossible to change your perspectives, habits or the things you grow up doing, at full tilt but being in a nurturing environment changes you slowly but surely. I used to really hate big crowds or socialising or meeting people (it gives me anxiety, I swear) and as much as I still dislike it, there comes situations when I have to step up but having a friend who is willing to go out with you, being by your side, having someone who makes the things you find difficult easier is tremendously helpful. It makes you overcome your inhibitions and let’s you grow so much as a person.

Even if things don’t work out sometimes, you should get up, dress up, get out and make use of the fact that God has blessed us with the new day to make things better. Everyday is worthwhile. Each day gives us the chance to be the better person than who we are yesterday and also a chance to give ourselves the beauty and happiness that we deserve ❤️.

So let’s celebrate life everyday and give ourselves what we deserve, let’s not settle for what lies ahead but work for what we deserve. We never really know our abilities until we push ourselves. Stepping out of our comfort zone is as important as excelling in what we know best. Running away, trying to get out of something that is new and tough on us would of course make us feel safe in our small shielded world we create for ourselves but the feeling of pride and happiness on overcoming or conquering something that scares you is indescribable. This is probably the biggest lesson I learned, to push myself and break the walls and limits that we set for ourselves. To take that walk and discover the best of us, which I feel is what we should be doing till the end of our lifetime.

2018 hadn’t been all about rainbows and ponies. As much as amazing things happened, there were occasions which didn’t cater to our wishes at all but I’m truly thankful that everything ended up being alright in the end. If anything, I have grown so much as an individual and I’m just terribly thankful that this year introduced me to an array of people whom i pray will be a part of my life for a long time, gave me the chance to accomplish things that made my parents proud and happy, endowed me with the incredible gift of getting to study my dream subject that I have been longing for a long while so in a nutshell, it’s been a fulfilling year ❤️. Thank you 🌸

 

First edition.

(so I started this out with thoughts on happiness and ended up writing stuff to encourage people so, that’s me and my brain jumping from one thing to another and so this is just another edition of Henrietta and her passing thoughts.)

Winning in life. Leading a good life. One’s definition of living big at life. Honest to god, I feel like mortals in general see winning as being loaded with riches and living a grand life. Having bucks lying in your bank accounts, trophies leaving dusted at your closets, driving big expensive luxurious cars, sheltered in mansions, desk jobs seated in your shiny polish rooms. That for most is success, winning in life. You see someone living good, humble, doing a job barely able to scrap through their needs nevertheless happy and the high tier classes question their happiness?

“What makes them happy? I could never survive in that environment?”

Happiness is subjective. It’s not always gonna be the big big things that makes life larger. Life ain’t about how many gold you encase in your arms or how many laurels you have displayed in your living room. Just a simple run in with your old friend from elementary school could lighten your day. Having a family who is healthy and happy can make life enough for you.

For some, it takes a big birthday bash with presents loaded to feel like a birthday and for one, a 5 minute phone call to wish your day is enough to make it an amazing birthday. While it takes a lot for others to find happiness, some basks in the pinnacle of joy every single day doing the normal routine of life solely residing under a roof over their heads, a bed to snuggle warmly at night with their partner, children who lights up their world and brings life to their house. No fancy cars, no gigantic house, no fashion parades going to parties, no multiple credit cards – just the presence of loved ones and their happiness ; it might seem rare and it truly happens less often than we would wish for but that does work the way for some.

And it’s a wishful thinking, but truly hope that people can find happiness in little stuff. Hope with all my heart for every soul to not go seeking high and low for better but find joy in the tiniest things that was endowed upon them, think twice that some, no-many don’t even have the chance to get a meal-leave alone the luxuries of life. Be more grateful for getting the chance to have a shot at a better life, education. Take hold of what was blessed to them, sieze life and find happiness in every day, living and walking on the soils of earth because that for some is almost a gift.

Wanting more is good, as long as you are driven with positivity and know your roots; it goes bad the moment you think you are better than others and never stop seeking more. Filled with the vicious thinkings that what you have isnt enough for you, what you deserve will always come your way.

Have a dream. Dreams are what aspires us to do better, work harder, sacrificing things in life to get a taste of what we have been in search of for so long, dreams and hope are what makes life truly beautiful but dreams and greediness are two completely different sides of a coin. Most mistake greed as seeking for a dream. It’s a defense mechanism developed in their minds to protect themselves from feeling that what they are doing is wrong. Greed would never have happiness knocking at your door. Dreams, even if you have not reached the end of your path yet simply knowing you are on the way to reach it, steps closer than the past you would leave a smile on your face and make you sleep better at night.

I have goals and dreams. I still have lots that I want to do in my life. Medicine running highest at what I wanna do is mostly why despite how strenuous college is now, I feel light and happy. But deep to my bones, rather than all my goals and ventures, happiness is what I seek and want most for myself and anyone I love. Having had moments where happiness didn’t seem like much of an option in my set of emotions, feeling at peace and contented is an amazing feeling that makes life truly sweeter and more beautiful. I have chosen to live my life everyday, siezing every moment in my stay here to make life worth it. I am trying to enjoy and accept contentedly the numerous exams that are shouldered on me because i know in the back of my mind that 1 year back when I graduated school, this was the only thing I wanted to do. This is the one thing I worked day and night for one year so the place I’m at right now is something I would have preferred to any other place, anytime in my life. At days, looking around I feel overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude that I get to study what I wanted for so long in my life since I knew how to recite the A B Cs. For, I know many barely get the chance to do what they want to do. I know in the days to come, i will be having nights where tears will be my companion because the stress will get to me (and I’m a crybaby) but I know this is what I want and that idea alone will help me get through anything that comes my way. I’m happy, in more ways than one. And I truly hope I will always have the strength in me to work hard in keeping my happiness afloat. Because happiness does come from ourselves and at the end of the day, it’s upto us to give ourselves that.❤️

To anyone who is having a hard time doing anything, remember why you started it. Remember your roots and the fact that at some point in life, you worked so hard for this it took up all the crevices in your brain and every part of your life. Once that sets in, everything becomes just a little bit better. Take your time, take your pace getting adjusted. Never feel that you are lacking behind. You are amazing and never let anyone, any small test, anything ever tell you that you aren’t. Never let anything drag you down. You got a lifetime to explore the beauty and magnificence in you, don’t let anything ever stop you from doing that.

(p. s : the fact that i made great amazing friends too make college truly more amazing. 💖)

snapped this on just a simple walk with my best friend but it lifted my mind off certain stuff and made my day, so yes I’m truly blessed with the people in my life ❤️